The colour of burnt almonds, with white-enamelled hooves, and fully eight feet tall: a centaur was galloping through the forest. His name was Valis. Alone and afraid, his powerful equine flanks shone, his close-curled greying chest hair sticky with the journey’s sweat. Was he really going to do this? The instructions for his task came from the highest authority imaginable. Even so, his heart almost froze thinking about what he was about to attempt.
Shivering with fear, he slowed to a canter. Here was the place. An empty spot between two enormous frelk trees. The gateway – unused for over three thousand years – stood invisibly in front of him.
All he had to do now was work out how to open it ...
Abigail and Anisha Christ the King Australia
He reached for the confidential and extremely important package from the supreme Guardians of the Great Forest. He took a deep, shaky breath and opened his leather satchel. Valis took out the golden, glowing key. He placed his trembling hands on the groove of the ancient tree, to reveal a ornate keyhole. Fumbling around, he tried to put the glowing key in its ancient hole. Valis was here to repair the vital protective dome, separating humans and magical folk. The dome had to be prepared every century. He had to get inside the gate to do this.
He tried to figure out how to open it, but he was so tired from the journey that he lent on a frelk tree instead. Suddenly, it shot out of the ground like a torpedo and the gate plunged into the great patch of emerald, green grass! Swiftly, he looked beyond the gate; pitch black darkness awaited him. Slowly, he walked inside. The creaky, mouldy gate slammed behind Valis! Rapidly, he shot downwards like a bullet in a gun, he was in Tartaras. Valis knew because a manticorn took one glance at him and he saw Ladon clawing at his prey. He saw something shimmery gold dangling from a glistening apple tree, it was no ordinary tree though… it was The Tree Of Immortality. He grasped onto the golden apple and clenched it through his disarming smile that faded into a bite…
Hi guys, I like the way you've deepened the story and taken us down into the bowels of the earth. A nice meshing with Greek myth here. Are you going to finish the story? I hope so.
Hi guys, i really like your continuation of the story. who is this mystery girl. what has Valis done? You must finish it now!
Livia and Arabella - Brighton and Hove Prep school
But then he stopped. He thought to himself – ‘do I really want do this?’ Suddenly, he saw the girl again, running towards him. She viciously snatched the apple from him and started walking towards the portal to the Human world. He couldn’t let this happen. He followed the girl – if she took the apple, she was likely to eat it. And that would bring powerful magic into the hands of humans. So he jumped, into the pitch-black portal. He hurtled through the blackness, and was startled by what he saw. Daylight flooded his eyes like a tsunami. He realised he had lost the girl, until he spied her coming around a corner. He broke into canter, not thinking about all the moving objects. He thought to himself, ‘What are these weird moving things?’ He started to catch up with the girl, shouting for her to stop. But then, before he could say any more, she bit apple. Her teeth began to grow, and become sharp and pointy. Then, she became more sensitive to the light. Valis angrily said: ‘If you would have listened to me, I could have stopped you!’
Valis stepped onto a tilted shabby tile as he found his first clue: unlock the squalid, dull box. It had a note underneath the box. It said,’’ Look at the graffiti wall to unlock the first digit.’’
Shareefa and Waleed, International Community School
THE SECOND CODE! “The apple”. Valis questioned “The apple??”. “oh, the magical golden tree.” Nicole replied. They ran as fast as they could to get the mission done, “Where is it?”. “I can’t find it anywhere!” Valis shouted… After a while… “do you think it’s under the tree?!” Nicole asked.
Well done, guys. Imaginative stuff. In case any of you are interested I do workshops on how to write better fantasy stories. check out my website for ideas...
Thanks great bloog
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