Story 5 Cliff McNish https://www.cliffmcnish.com

5/11/2017

Carrie sat in the living room, smoothing out her shirt. She was waiting for her mum to turn up. Her mother. Her actual mother.
Just saying the word out loud had been sending shivers down Carrie’s spine for days.
Carrie couldn’t believe how jittery she was. 'Thirteen, and I’m this scared?' she thought, telling herself how stupid she was being. But she couldn’t help it. She hadn’t seen her mother since she was five, the same day she abandoned her in Birmingham’s Bullring shopping centre.
Ever since then it had been just Carrie and her dad, looking after each other. Eight years of silence. Eight years of longing for a mother who’d let go of her hand, then simply vanished.
And now, as if returned from the dead, Suzanna was back in her life again. She’d phoned Carrie’s dad. “I want to see her,” she’d told him. “I want to see my lovely daughter. To explain. If she’ll let me. If she can find it in her heart.”

9 Comments

Emma-Louise Newton

6/11/2017 02:31:56

Haziq Rumzy, Aryan Srivastava, Samuel Lowe
Garden International School

“Carrie!” Her dad, who was in shock, opened the door to the room. “She’s here.” Carrie out of the window, trying to see her mother’s face after 8 long years. Then, there she was. Carrie looked every bit like her mother; silky, curly blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and for a second, Carrie thought she was seeing things. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. There it was.

Her mother was standing next to a young, black-haired boy of about 7 years of age. Her mind spinning, Carrie came down the stairs, trying to ready herself to meet with her mother, and that strange little boy. “Carrie, my beautiful girl!” Her mother cried.

She went up to hug Carrie, but then realized that she should explain her disappearance moreover, whom the child next to her was.

“Carrie? I’m so sorry I left you. I received a call from someone telling me that if I didn’t go into the black van waiting for me outside the mall, the world could END. I was taken to where they told me the disaster was going to occur. There was a comet, heading straight for the earth. Even though it would not kill all the people, the toxic fumes emitted from the comet would destroy the atmosphere, letting the vacuum of space rip all life from the planet surface. The earth would become a lifeless rock!”

Isla, Millie, Gabe, tristan, Jamie

6/11/2017 10:30:36

"So, what happened next?" asked Carrie in disbelief.
"Well"...her mother began. "Our most talented scientists have discovered their is life on the comet."
"Aliens!" exclaimed Carrie.
"Aliens- Yes!"
"Toxic breathing lime-green aliens that will take over the world!"

Mark, Millie

6/11/2017 11:35:53

Carrie woke up in a shock because of her dream about lime green aliens! But it wasn’t the aliens she was shocked about. She walked down the stairs into the living room and sat on the ocean blue sofa next to her dad. She told her dad all about her nightmare about the lime green aliens and how they were going to destroy the Earth with a massive comet. She also told him about her mum being in the dream and that she came home. But! She came home with someone else. Another boy that looked about 7 years old.
After she had a talk with her dad she went into the kitchen to get something to eat because she was starving but then she heard a knock at the front door. Her dad shouted ‘can you get the door, please!’ She advanced towards the door, then heard a cry from outside. She swung the door open to find her best friend at the doorstep with her little brother. That was who was crying so she asked why he was crying but her friend (Shannon) said no one was crying. He was in fact laughing but she was sure she didn’t hear laughing she heard crying, definitely heard crying. What was going on, what or who made that crying noise? Something did, and she was going to find out what. It was very discombobulating.
Just then, she turned to her friend Shannon and realised…….

Kai Mizzi

6/11/2017 12:23:55

Bang. Carrie couldn’t see. Bang. She got up. Still, the blinding light obscured her vision. Minutes pass, feeling like hours. Slowly, very slowly, her vision became blurry, and started to clear. Around her, a bright golden and white hue filled her vision, and as her eyes adjusted, she saw the ornate golden and ivory walls that formed her cell. In a mix of intrigue and fear, Carrie lumbered to one of the beautiful walls. The wall shivered and bubbled, like water, only solid. In front of her eyes, a faint outline of a door started to appear. Hope beamed from her like a flame. She almost cried with joy. That was swiftly snuffed out. No lock. No handle. Horror overpowers her and Carrie falls to her knees in a fit of sadness. Thoughts raced and filled her mind. She reached for the door again, but before she got there… Bang. Once again, the blinding light was back, filling her vision again. She sprawled on the floor. She twitched and flailed. Her cell was moving.

Her chest heaved with every breath. In. Out. She needed to stay calm. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew she was moving. And she was moving fast. Her cell seemed to racket and clatter around, despite being so… well made. The bumps told her she was in a rocky, probably not very inhabited place. That scared her. No civilisation, no help. She kept trying the door, trying to pry it open, trying and trying until her fingers were raw. Hope dwindled and she lay down. Hours felt like days. She was defeated. Carrie felt the hard, cold floor under her back. She thought of home. She thought of dad. She thought of her mum. The mum she never got to meet. Carrie’s dream of her almost plagued her, but in a good way, making her chuckle as she thought of the toxic comet and lime green aliens. Maybe she’d make it out of this cell. Maybe she wouldn’t. She never got to ask, however, how did she get here?

Finn Grant, Liam Harrison, Leo Fletcher and Will Henry from Bradwell Junior School.

6/11/2017 13:55:45

Suddenly, an alien popped up in the cell and scared the life out of Carrie.
‘Hello,’ said the alien in a weird voice.
The alien was all green and horrible. It had blue, terrifying eyes. His whole body looked as green as grass. His feet didn’t really look like alien feet. They looked like monster claws, not just monsters’ claws. Massive monster claws as large as a radiator. They were as sharp as metal.
‘Hello,’ Carrie replied anxiously, her heart beating quickly and shivering in fear.
The alien started to shake and shape into her best friend, Shannon.
‘Is that better? Do you recognize me now?’ said her friend.
‘Oh!’ exclaimed Carrie in a shock.
‘We thought it would be better for you if I appeared to you like your friend. Then you won’t be as scared. I’m really called Blob. We know that there is something special about you that other humans don’t have. You’re an alien too…

Beckie, Daniel, Sophie and Alisha

6/11/2017 15:16:41

Carrie gasped,
'Shannon it can't be you?!'
Carrie exclaimed.
Then they rush to the space ship to see if her parents could help her in any way but it turns out Shannon's Evil and she shoots them and takes Carrie away...
Suddenly they crash and Shannon is unconscious so Carrie tries to escape but the space ships work is too complicated so she was stuck with no water or food. Carrie soon realises she has no human oxygen until Shannon awakes...

Allison Painich

8/11/2017 06:28:11

Katie B., Annabelle S., Ayanna P., Gabrielle K.
Robert E. Lee Junior High

Shannon awakes with an evil expression. Carrie starts to reach for a weapon, but it was too late. The last thing she remembers is a gas masks over her face. Beep. Beep. Beep. Carrie slowly opens her eyes to find bright lights and doctors surrounding her. When the doctors realized she was conscious, they asked many questions all at once. Carrie explained what she remembered of Shannon, her mother, and the aliens. The doctors were in disbelief and decided she needed more rest. They walked out quietly, discussing their thoughts.
She awakes to find herself in a different atmosphere and studies her new room. She notices many signs and comes to the conclusion that she is in a mental hospital. She walks into the hallway and finds her way to the cafeteria. When she returns to her room, she discovers that the door is open. Inside, there is a woman who has very similar features to herself.
“Carrie,” said the woman, “I have a lot to explain, do you have time to talk?”

Allison Painich

8/11/2017 15:56:11

Amari L. and Ryleigh S.

“Mom,” says Carrie, just saying the word sent chills up her spine. “ What are you doing here?”
“I wanted us to talk to you about who you really are… you’re not human, you’re an alien.”
“What do you mean? This can’t be happening, I won’t believe it !” Carrie says with a bewildered
expression upon her face. She would’ve never thought of herself being an alien.
“You are what you are, and you can’t change it, I’m sorry Carrie” says her mom. Just then she felt a trickle going down her cheek, she was crying.
“ But I don’t want to believe it! Please tell me this isn’t true” says Carrie now of full tears.
Just that moment she heard footsteps coming down the hall, many at once, then she heard loud sirens everywhere, “Come on Carrie, they know I’m here, we have to leave now!”

Bianca & Emmanuel Good Samaritan Catholic College

8/11/2017 23:49:50

Suddenly, the room lurched again. Carrie roused herself from her concussed state, she had just been dreaming about her mother again. “Aliens?”, She asked herself, “What was all that about”. She was definitely dreaming. The ship was spinning out of control.

“Hello, is anyone there, Hello”, screamed Shannon. Shannon came out of her disability faze and she looked at everything that she had caused. The spaceship had struck water and they had all floated to land. She observes Carrie’s parents lying on the floor and realises that she has done something untrue. She assists Carries parents which have been stunned and lying on the floor. As Shannon tries to assist both the mum and dad in the water which they have landed on she sees a boat passes by. She jumps out of the pieces of spaceship that were still left and onto to top of them. She waves her hands and shouts monstrously out loud “HELP, we are stuck on this ship!!!”. The Captain and assistant heard a shout. They quickly directed the boat to where the scream was coming from. Then they came to the rescue. They pulled them onto the boat and aided them with everything that they needed. After the rescue, Carrie, her parents and Shannon were sitting on chairs waiting. The parents woke up. They didn’t remember what happened. As they were on the boat Carries parents were confused. “What happened carrie?”, said her Dad in confusion, “Where are we?”. “We crashed on the land in the middle of nowhere and a boat came to get us”, Carrie explained. Carrie went into more detail of what happened before and why they were on the ship. The parents realised what had occurred and they weren’t confused anymore.

A few days have passed and the the boat had arrived on land. “Finally, we have arrived, i’m so sorry for what had happened to you guys on the ship’, exclaimed Shannon, “I would have never wanted that to happen to you”. “It's ok , come to our house, we will give you a surprise” The Dad said. Shannon didn’t realise but after Carrie explained what Shannen done to the parents the Dad came up with a plan. They were thinking of getting revenge on what Shannon has done. They came back to house and decided what to do to Shannon as revenge. They searched up on the internet and found something called the head crusher. “This was used back in medieval times,” the Dad said. They found someone who had it and decided to buy it. As a few days has passed it finally came. They invited Sharron over. As they placed Sharron’s head inside, she didn’t know what was about to happen. Carrie screamed out “Don’t do it, she has a mental disability and didn’t mean to do it on purpose”. Right when Carrie said that, it was too late….

Story 5 Cliff McNish https://www.cliffmcnish.com

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